Dear Ivan:

I don’t care where you wind up going to college.  All I know is, you’re a genius.  And, the reason I know this is that at the age of 4, you’ve realized that you can get out of any predicament by saying to Mommy or me “hug” and then coming over to us for a hug.  Who can resist that?  I know you’re faking us out and b*llsh*tting us, and I still can’t maintain my anger.

You’re a genius kid.  You figured out how to use false affection as a tool.  Bravo!

Now cut the sh*t already, pick up the toys and go to sleep . . . . but first give me a hug 🙂

Love,

Daddy