Dear Ivan:

Just want you to know that I’m very sorry that you’re battling a stomach bug.  Intestinal distress is no joke.

Along the same lines, I want you to know that on the list I’m keeping of the number of time I wiped your ass, I’m giving myself “double-bonus” points for this small interlude that’s found us camped out in the bathroom.

I plan to redeem those points sometime in the future.  Likely at a time when having your old man accompanying you will embarrass the ever-living-sh*t out of you.  Of course, given what’s been transpiring of late, the notion that you will have any ever-living-sh*t left within you will be pretty remarkable.

Love,

Daddy