Dear Ivan:

I want to explain something, when we tell you to go to bed, it’s not a punishment.  Mommy and I would love to go to bed.  In fact, if it were up to us, we’d be asleep in bed about 23 hours a day.

And, even if it were a punishment, so what?  Let me tell you something, if someone sent me to bed at 6 pm, I’d be under the covers faster than someone could say: “And, I’m not joking.”

I realize you think that by going to bed before us, you’re missing out on something, but I can guarantee you that you absolutely are not.  After you go to sleep, Daddy works. And, Mommy dissolves in a puddle of exhausted flesh on the couch, where she attempts to decompress from the day, even as her phone explodes with work emails and texts.  So, the only thing you’re missing is your parents slowly but surely aging.  As they say at the scene of accidents and fights, “move along.  Nothing to see here.”

So, in sum, and to conclude — be thankful that we care enough about you to send you to bed early so you don’t have to be subjected to the boredom and anxiety that rules the living room when you are peacefully slumbering dreaming about cartoons and snacks and toys.  And, understand that you are not being punished at all.  Indeed, just the opposite.  If we really wanted to punish you, we’d make you stay awake with us and watch the news and then help balance the checkbook.

Believe me, I know what I’m talking about.  I used to sleep a lot more, and it was way better.

Love