| Authenticity Is Everything |
| “I can spot a phony a mile away.” How many times have you said that? Heard that? I bet the answer is “a lot.” And why is that? One reason, perhaps the main reason, is that so often we find ourselves confronted by people and things that are not real or inauthentic. Think of all the times you’ve encountered a sales or marketing person who reeked of phoniness. Or think of the times that friends or family were afraid to tell you the truths you didn’t want to hear. So, they put on a brave face, or swallowed what they wanted to say, and nodded and said, “Yep, you’re right.” But you could tell they were lying or, at least, not being completely truthful. Or, maybe you’ve done that yourself. Think of all the times you’ve put on your “best face” or “game face” at work or in a group of colleagues or friends and went along even though you felt like an impostor. Do you think no one noticed? Likely as not, someone in the crowd did, and maybe all of them did. Truth is, people are highly attuned to sniff out fakes and phonies. It doesn’t mean that people don’t get fooled. They do, all the time. But, if you really want to move people, reach them, have what you’re saying or doing resonate with them, authenticity wins every time. Of course, being authentic often means being vulnerable. Admitting mistakes. Admitting the despair that set in when your goals seemed unreachable. Admitting that work—lots of it, and hard work at that, was necessary to go from zero to the goal. In short, confessing that you’re human and imperfect. (And, in the spirit of that, if anyone ever wants to hear about the hundreds of rejections I’ve received from literary agents, I’m happy to have that conversation). Meantime, be authentic. Be yourself. Don’t have a “game face” or “character” that you slip on at work or while giving a speech or toast or presentation. Just be you. That’s why you’re the one giving the talk, the speech, the presentation. That’s why you’re the one with the job. That’s why you’re the one in the relationship. If they wanted something other than you they would’ve gotten someone else. “I can spot a phony a mile away.” How many times have you said that? Heard that? I bet the answer is “a lot.” And why is that? One reason, perhaps the main reason, is that so often we find ourselves confronted by people and things that are not real or inauthentic. Think of all the times you’ve encountered a sales or marketing person who reeked of phoniness. Or think of the times that friends or family were afraid to tell you the truths you didn’t want to hear. So, they put on a brave face, or swallowed what they wanted to say, and nodded and said, “Yep, you’re right.” But you could tell they were lying or, at least, not being completely truthful. Or, maybe you’ve done that yourself. Think of all the times you’ve put on your “best face” or “game face” at work or in a group of colleagues or friends and went along even though you felt like an impostor. Do you think no one noticed? Likely as not, someone in the crowd did, and maybe all of them did. Truth is, people are highly attuned to sniff out fakes and phonies. It doesn’t mean that people don’t get fooled. They do, all the time. But, if you really want to move people, reach them, have what you’re saying or doing resonate with them, authenticity wins every time. Of course, being authentic often means being vulnerable. Admitting mistakes. Admitting the despair that set in when your goals seemed unreachable. Admitting that work—lots of it, and hard work at that, was necessary to go from zero to the goal. In short, confessing that you’re human and imperfect. (And, in the spirit of that, if anyone ever wants to hear about the hundreds of rejections I’ve received from literary agents, I’m happy to have that conversation). Meantime, be authentic. Be yourself. Don’t have a “game face” or “character” that you slip on at work or while giving a speech or toast or presentation. Just be you. That’s why you’re the one giving the talk, the speech, the presentation. That’s why you’re the one with the job. That’s why you’re the one in the relationship. If they wanted something other than you they would’ve gotten someone else. |
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