Dear Ivan:

Recently you began martial arts instruction.  This is a great thing, as it will help me explain to people why you are always karate-chopping me in the throat (though it does not help explain why you laugh when you do that).

Martial arts are an awesome form of exercise.  They also teach you discipline, focus, and the proper way to strike daddy without hurting your hand.  So, again, glad you’re studying this ancient self-defense technique.

One small note – I also have studied the martial arts.  In particular, I am ages-long student of Tickle You Till You Can’t Breathe.  Allow me to demonstrate.

Ah, yes, as I thought — we should retreat to our neutral corners and contemplate the universe.  Excellent.  Enjoy your meditation and enjoy martial arts (outside the house).

Love always,

Daddy