Dear Ivan:

Okay, you’ve proven your point that you’re able to go without sleep forever.

Please go to sleep.  If only so that I know you’re not watching me while I’m sleeping, dropping cookie crumbs into my mouth, as it hangs open, leaking drool onto the pillow, as I dream about the days when I didn’t have to worry about a 4-year-old not sleeping, standing over me as I sleep and dropping cookie crumbs into my dragon-breath-emanating maw.

Love,

Daddy

(p.s., Mommy and I are going gluten-free, so if you are going to drop crumbs into my mouth as I sleep, you’ll see that I left some Clif-Bars on the counter.  I like the ones with the purple wrapper)