Dear Ivan:

Mommy and I are both so glad that you love bedtime stories.  We’re both avid readers, and we know that a love of books and stories starts early in life.  So we couldn’t be more thrilled that you love a good book before bed.

On the other hand (and as you’ll see as you get older there always is an “on the other hand”), we’re not so thrilled with your book-selection process.  Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with the books you choose.  They’re really wonderful.

No, it’s the actual process that you employ. And, in fact, it’s not so much the process itself so much as it’s the time it takes for you to implement said process.  In other words, my friend, what I am saying is that you are a big stall and delay artist.

Look, I get it.  Mommy and I are always doing such “fun” things when you have to go to sleep (like pay bills or review the tax returns), and we know you don’t want to miss out.  But, I’m telling you right now, you’re not missing anything.  Frankly, both Mommy and I would gladly trade places with you.  But, even if we can’t (and we can’t), bottom line is — you gotta go to sleep before we do because that’s the rule.

So, pick your book and get your little tuchas in bed.

Love,

Dad