Dear Ivan:

A quick note-

I know that you enjoy Scooby Doo.  I don’t blame you.  He’s the ultimate cowardly, always-hungry, crime-fighting Great Dane.

On the other hand, you should know that the Scooby Doo you’re watching is not the original Scooby Doo that Daddy watched.  Just as Daddy didn’t watch the same Rin Tin Tin and Lone Ranger as your grandparents, you’re not watching the original Doo.

There are some other things that aren’t the same now as they were “back in the day.”

1. A dollar isn’t worth a dollar anymore.  It’s now worth some number of Renminbi (although given Chinese secrecy laws regarding economic news, we’ll never know how many).

2. A tv season isn’t really a tv season anymore.  In Daddy’s dad, tv shows were on for 39 weeks in a row, then off for the Summer, during which you watched reruns of the show to show your support.  Now, a season is basically anywhere between 1 and 13 episodes, or basically anything that a programming executive decides to call a “season.”  For example, Gunsmoke was on for 22 real seasons.  American Idol has been on for about 3 real seasons (but by today’s standards it’s been on for the same number of seasons as America has existed).

3. Kids don’t get suffer consequences anymore. I’m sorry, but it’s true. I know you think I’m a tyrant because I won’t let you have that 5th cookie, but I’m telling you, you’re getting off easy.  In my day, we didn’t have 24 hour bodegas and Fresh Direct.  Sometimes, I couldn’t even have 1 cookie because we were out.  And, you couldn’t just walk to the corner, because at the corner was a tree, and there were no Keebler Elves in it.

There are many, many other reasons why today is different than my day. But, for now, let’s just say “zoinks” you should have fun watching Scooby Doo!