My wife and I have a 3 year old, whom we love very much.  In the 3 years of being his parent, I’ve learned quite a bit:

1. The U.S. Constitution should have in the Bill of Rights a section that says “you have the right to go to the bathroom alone.”

2. Work should definitely allow you to call in on account of “parenting”

3. You can’t be a good role model if you’re head explodes.

4. A mongoose is quick.  A toddler is quicker.

5. Hugs are good, but in a pinch cookies work faster.

6. Never wake a sleeping child.  On the other hand, always wake a sleeping spouse/other parent.

7. You can always blame your farts on your toddler.

8. When kids say “no” it doesn’t really mean “no.”  It means, “try again and this time be more creative.”

9. Every toddler has ADD except when they care about something. Then they all turn into Chess Masters and Rocket Scientists who can focus for hours on end.

10. Never draw a line in the sand because every toddler’s favorite game is “Cross the Line In the Sand.”