As we ring in the new year of 2015, I as the parent of a toddler, have  some resolutions.

1. I resolve to get more sleep each night (whether our 3 year old will agree to this is, of course, another story).

2. I resolve to be more patient (again, largely in the hands of our 3 year old)

3. I resolve not to utter the phrase “No f*&%$in’ way!” when asked to go to Toys R Us (this one, too, will be decided by our toddler).

4. I resolve to be a better parent (Yep, again, this will be largely decided by whether our son suddenly becomes more adept at hearing what we say)

5. I resolve not to laugh when our son disobeys us with that smile he likes to flash (I know, I shouldn’t laugh, but it is hilarious).

6. I resolve to become an even more enthusiastic cheerleader of pooping in the potty if only so that we will be relieved of diaper-duty.

7. I resolve to become more comfortable with the fact that my food groups consist solely and exclusively of food that our son has left over, mostly rice, goldfish crackers, and bread crusts.

8. I resolve to remember my wife’s actual name, which I cannot remember because I’ve been calling her “mommy” for the last 3 years for the benefit of our 3 year old son.

9. I resolve to remember my own actual name, which I cannot remember because for the past 3 years for the benefit of our son, I’ve been referring to myself as “daddy” in the third-person, as if I’m a one-name celebrity, when in fact, I’m just an exhausted anonymous member of the 99%.

10. I resolve to remember in those moments when it seems like the wheels are coming off the wagon and the whining and crying is going through my ears like a sharp object going through butter, that I sought out the privilege of being a dad, and that, it is, in fact, a great privilege, one that I relish, enjoy and am immeasurably appreciative for, even if I’m so tired 99% of the time that I can never remember whether I locked the front door and have to check it at least 5 times each day just to make sure.