My wife and I are an interracial couple. She’s Black, and I’m White. Our 3 year old son is Biracial. The numbers of interracial families, and the numbers of Biracial and Multiracial people, are growing all the time. However, even in this era, I’m still amazed by the lack of sensitivity and outright racism that exists.
What am I talking about? Here are just a few examples:
1. Disney and Lack of Color: When I say I’d like to see more characters of color in a Disney film, it’s not because I’m anti-White or anti-Disney. Being in favor of greater representation of persons of color in popular culture doesn’t mean being against representations of White people in popular culture or against the people who make some really great movies. It just means that I’d like for my son to be able to watch a Disney film, and to be able to associate with the prince or some other main character who looks like him and comes from the same background versus watching the movie and thinking that the world of magical fantasy where neat stuff happens only happens to you if you have porcelain-White skin and live in a world uninhabited by people of color.
2. What Race Is He? When you ask me what race my son is, you’re asking me to label him for your own benefit. He’s Biracial, which is an artificial enough label. Beyond that, he’s part of the human race. Beyond that, I guess you’ll have to develop a higher tolerance for ambiguity or come back in twenty years and ask him yourself at which point I hope he will look you in the eye, smile and say to you: “I love you anyway.”
3. Biracial Kids Are Always Gorgeous: Thank you. However, just saying that is, honestly, a little racist (though it’s not clear if the speaker is anti-Black or anti-White or both). Truth is, I think my kid’s adorable, and I think when he grows up he’s gonna be a good-looking dude (though he better watch his cookie intake). That said, I’m sure some people don’t find him attractive. Perhaps people without eyes. But, seriously, I’m sure there are Biracial people who aren’t stunning, gorgeous, or beautiful beyond recognition. And, you know what? That’s just fine. Mere mortals like the rest of us need some company.
4. No, the Black Woman Standing Next To Him Is Not the Nanny: Yes, I’m sure. I know this for several reasons. First, she and I sleep together and we almost never have sex. If that doesn’t tell you that we’re married, then I don’t know what will. Second, I saw our son come shooting out of her vagina (well, not so much shooting, but you get the picture). And, third, if it weren’t for the fact that our son is light-skinned, you would notice that he and that woman he’s standing next to look like identical twins. So, unless there’s a new trend in NYC of mommies serving as their own child’s nanny (and, in NYC, anything is possible), she’s his mother, not his nanny.
5.
7 Comments on “Parenting the Biracial Child in 2015”
Alex,
Love, love this article. People are just funny! When my kids were born, the nurse in the hospital hesitated a bit because she thought they did not belong to me. Hubby is German American and I am Haitian American. Oh well, what can you do but be amused by people’s ignorance!
Nicole Weaver
Award- winning Trilingual Children’s Author
http://nicoleweaverbooks.com
Nicole — thanks for writing and for the support. And, thanks for sharing your story.
Omg I just talked to a WWBM couple and the topic of biracial kids always being gorgeous came up. I said I very much dislike when I hear that (I’m in a BWWM relationship). I explained how ignorant that was since it almost implies some type of superiority like light skinned vs dark skinned. Its also a misconception bc you can have a biracial or mixed child and they can either look mixed or not. I stunned the future hubby of this white woman who felt her same sentiments that his children would be gorgeous bc of their mix, when I asked him do you think I’m mixed? He looked puzzled especially due to my dark skin and with his light skinned self said no. I shocked him once I “educated” his ignorance and let him know that I am a black, European, Hispanic, and Jewish mixed woman. And him only being African American was stunned and said I never would have guessed. So I said just a lesson in how our perceptions on what one is based on features and complexion is misguided and hence why that stereotype sets us back in so many ways…
Great point on number two. I follow your posts on FB and I think you’re right on the money. Biracial can mean anything, any combination, and being that it’s sad enough as it is that we label people based on the supremacist and violent notion of race in the first place, it’s especially bad for people like us to be classified based on race since we are living proof that race and racism are able to be teanscended and erased.
Thanks so much for writing and sharing your thoughts.
Great point on number two. I follow your posts on FB and I think you’re right on the money. Biracial can mean anything, any combination, and being that it’s sad enough as it is that we label people based on the supremacist and violent notion of race in the first place, it’s especially bad for people like us to be classified based on race since we are living proof that race and racism are able to be teanscended and erased.
Leave a Comment