My wife is Black.  I am White and Jewish.  My wife converted to Judaism.  So, our newborn son, Ivan (just 13 weeks old), is Biracial and Jewish, which isn’t quite like being a unicorn, but it is a minority that is small in number.   This Thanksgiving will be Ivan’s first Thanksgiving ever.  As a result, we want to make it very special.   As we began preparing, I thought about how we could celebrate our blended family (mixed-race and mixed-religion).  So, I came up with some rules.  Here they are:   The 10 Rules of our Black-Jewish Thanksgiving

1.         Politics: There will be no discussion of politics at the table.  If you feel you must discuss anything having to do with politics, stick with observing that the President is Black, and America has no greater friend than the State of Israel.  Other than that, you run the risk of pissing people off

2.         Prayer: All prayers must be religiously neutral and brief.  You want to proselytize or preach – go where you belong – to a subway platform, a shopping center or Times Square.

3.         Dividing Responsibilities: The Black people are in charge of the music we listen to.  The Jewish people are in charge of worrying obsessively and making sure everyone shows up on time.

4.         Cinema Icons: All discussions of Woody Allen versus Spike Lee are forbidden.  It’s a made-up controversy. And, neither one has written a good movie in a long time. Besides, they’re both New York Knicks fans so let’s give them a break.  They have enough heartache.

5.         Cultural Suffering: Similarly, no one – and I do mean NO ONE – is permitted to begin the “Holocaust versus Slavery” discussion.  Evil is evil.  You don’t give it a letter grade.  Yes, the world was horrible in the past.  Let’s figure out how to make the  world better.

6.         Ethnic Foods: You are free to make or bring a dish that blends Jewish and Black traditional recipes.  The first person who makes a delicious sweet potato kugel gets an award. However, you may not “invent” dishes such as “pastrami on corn bread.”  Some things were always meant to stand on their own.  

7.         The Lenny Kravitz Game: The game “Let’s name all the famous people who are Biracial and Jewish” may only be played for 15 minutes.  We’ve done that game already.  It’s getting old.

8.         Something New: Similarly, calling our relationship “Something New” isn’t actually all that hilarious anymore.  That movie is 6 years old.  A Black woman married to a White guy isn’t particularly “new” anymore.  Now, find me a Black woman dating an Asian guy – that’s new.

9.         Old people: Anyone over 75 is allowed to say whatever they want.  However, they must be seated as far away from everyone as possible.

10.       A Mighty Wind: If you fart, own up to it.  It is not permitted to shirk your culpability by saying, “Did you ever notice how THOSE people smell?”   Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!