My wife and I have a son who is almost 2 1/2.  As we prepare for 2014, we have many hopes and dreams.  Here are my resolutions for 2014 for our family:

1. I promise to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night.  I know it sounds selfish, but it’s really for my family. Because of sleep deprivation, the bags under my eyes are so pronounced I look like Lon Chaney from Phantom of the Opera.

2. I will limit myself to just one double-espresso per day (See #1 above).

3. I will learn how to pronounce “##$@%**%$” so that my son will not learn every single curse word known to man by the time he is 3.

4. I will stop smiling so much when my son says “I farted.” Yes, it’s awesome, but I realize I’m just perpetuating the cycle of odiferous violence.

5. I will eat more green vegetables and salad.  Boring, yes, I know. But, my wife says it’s my job to stay healthy for a really long time so I can be the one who cleans up after jr.

6. I will do my best to let my son make his own choice as between Mets and Yankees.  Our family has deep roots in Brooklyn, and as heartbroken Dodgers’ fans, we naturally became Mets’ fans. But, that is a love affair that will break your heart just as equally.  So, even if my dad and I will never root for the Bronx Bombers, I will not prevent my son from doing so if his heart should pull him in that direction.

7. Likewise, I will do my best to see that my son never develops a fondness for the Knicks.  Because being a Knicks fan is like loving someone who seems to have a burning need to fail to meet their potential.

8. I will stop judging people so much.  Except when they’re rude or act like A-holes or otherwise do things that are annoying, irritating or just in my way.  Because I understand I’m setting an example for my son, but, let’s face it, A-holes are there to be judged.

9. I will finally accept the fact that I’m short and not going to grow any taller.  I realize that at the age of 46, I should simply be happy for the height I have because in a few years that number is going to start to go down.

10. I will hug a Republican.  No, I don’t agree with them, but I vow to be the bigger person and to let them know that I will love and respect them as people no matter how ridiculous their policies are.