Dear Ivan:

No, you can’t have ice cream.  No, I don’t mean you can’t ever have it.  I just mean you can’t have it right now because it’s bedtime.  Also, you already had ice cream today.  You also did sixteen other things where you got your way, and I gave in as if I literally had no spine.  So, this thing, this small little thing, this thing we’re doing my way.

So no ice cream.  And, no other snacks of any kind.  And, no you’re not gonna make me feel guilty about it with your down-turned lip or your “sad face” or crying or any other device you employ that is intended to make me feel like the worst father in the World.  Because I am not the worst father in the World.  There are lots of worse ones, including the fathers of most major tyrants, dictators and despots throughout human history.

So, remember, I’m a pretty good dad.  And, I’ve let you have a lot of ice cream.  So, just remember that.

Now go to bed before I do something I’ll really regret . . . like give in.