If, like us, you’re in a multiracial family, you’ve undoubtedly been asked a lot of questions. Most times, I’m cool with the questions. People are generally curious. Sometimes, they themselves are considering entering into an interracial relationship, and they have fears, and they’re looking for someone with experience who can help assuage their fears.
But sometimes the questions are over-the-top. And, sometimes they’re not even questions, they’re comments. Nasty comments.
I’m curious . . . what’s the strangest question you’ve ever gotten. And, what’s the nastiest comment?
For more on this, please see my article Multiracial Families and Inquiring Minds at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/multiracial-families-and-inquiring-minds-kerj/.
And, to join the conversation on #multiracial families, please check out my podcast Multiracial Family Man at: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/multiracial-family-man/id969793342?mt=2
Or, reach out to me on Twitter at: @barnettcomic
12 Comments on “Multiracial Families And All Those Questions”
So I am black and my husband is white. We have three kiddos (2 girls and 1 boy) and the girls “look like” biracial kids. My son however has a little darker complexion than his sisters. His hair is like typical African American hair, and he is even dreading it now. So if I am picking him up somewhere there is never a question from the school, friends, or parents. If my husband is picking him up they always for his ID, friends say, “That’s your dad? Your reeeal dad?” and parents take a double take. So I guess there’s not really a question they ask, but we always get double takes.
Wow! Thanks for sharing.
My Caucasian was asked when out with our twins “are they adopted?” He said, “no, my wife is African American.”
Yeah, I think you’re not alone on this one.
Nasty comment: ” I hope you do not plan on having children. ” As if our children would be aliens from another planet!
Nice comment: “You are a beautiful couple.”
Unbelievable. Thank you for sharing.
We get asked a lot if our kids are adopted because they are not the same complexion. My son is darker complected than his sister and his hair is more of a fro etc. However, my wife has had the worst experiences I think. On more than one occasion while in a restaurant my wife and son have been approached by African American women and were told that it was “disgusting” and “disgraceful” to have a white person raising a black child. Not knowing of course 1. my wife is multiracial and 2. that our son is biologically related. A LOT of people just assume the kids are adopted and it gets frustrating at times. Even if they were, it shouldn’t matter.
Excellent points! I’ve heard from a lot of people who get the “adopted” question.
I am multiracial too, but my kids look white so I encounter a lot of people who don’t believe I’m their mother. I *wish* people would ask if my kids are adopted. Instead, I’m assumed to be their nanny~even though both my kids look like little white versions of me. Even better is when we are out with extended family because my sister (technically half-sister, but that’s not how we were raised) is white so everyone thinks my kids are hers. I can’t tell you how many times she’s had to point at me and say “That’s their mom, not me”.
The best comments I’ve ever received about my children, on the basis of sheer comedic value, are:
“They lied to us in biology class!” from a friend about how a black, white and Native American woman could have a child with white skin and blonde hair
-AND-
“She’s very-um-blonde” from the wife of a friend who was probably afraid I’d be offended by her shock that my daughter is so white. Nice recovery, though.
A sense of humor really does make dealing with the questions and comments easier.
Thank you for writing and sharing your anecdotes and stories! Wishing you all the best (and a continued sense of humor 🙂 ).
The rudest question? Before we had kids an older lady asked me “you realized your children will be mixed breed right? Why would you do that to little children, you should think about how hard their lives will be if you have kids.”
The nicest comment “Please have more children, they are the prettiest little girls I’ve ever seen!” Both have beautiful bronze skin and dark brown curly hair. I may be biased, but they are so beautiful.
Thanks so much for writing in and sharing and providing those responses. All the best to you!
Leave a Comment