I started meditating recently.

It’s helped tremendously.  Now, I’m not anxious 24 hours a day.  Just like 23.5.  So, major progress, indeed.

Also, I’m more mindful.  I’ve been able to get my mind to slow down so that I have time to write down my full, daily, “to-do” list without having anxiety-produced breathing problems in the middle of writing the list.  Now, I can get to the end of the list before I start to panic.

In addition, as part of the meditation process, I’ve become far more gratitude-filled.  Apparently, this is a natural consequence of the meditation process, and I can report, happily, that it’s happening for me.

For example, I am so grateful that I am 48 and not 49.  If I were 49, I’d be that much closer to 50.  On the other hand, if I were 50, I’d be eligible for AARP and the discounts they offer.  So, you know what, forget what I said. I’m not grateful at all to be 48. I’d rather be 50 and getting discounts on dinner served before 5 pm and cruises with people who think that a Ford Taurus is “racy.”

I’m also very grateful to be our son’s father.  He’s a great kid.  I love him to pieces. Also, if I were some other kid’s father, it would mean I’m doing a crappy job of parenting that kid because I’m living with my son and my wife, and I have no idea where that other kid is, what his name is and what he likes to eat.  So, I think it’s just best for all concerned if I remain my son’s father, and whoever that other kid is, well, I wish him luck, but if he really gets in a jam, I’m happy to offer some advice.

In addition, I’m really grateful for my friends and family.  I’m especially grateful for how honest they are with me.  My wife really excels at this. She’s particularly adept at reminding me that, for a comedian, “you’re not very funny.”  And, I’m so grateful for that.  It keeps me humble and, of course, does wonders for my fragile artist’s ego.

Likewise, I’m really grateful to live in New York City, truly one of the best cities in the World.  One of the most gratifying parts of living in New York City is that we get to live amongst so many rich people who, through their own dedication to excess and profligate spending, have driven up the price of everything to levels far beyond what I can afford, so we make do with what we have.  And, this makes me grateful because it reminds me that money isn’t everything, that money isn’t the key to happiness, and, most of all, that rich people suck eggs.

Finally, I’m grateful for my health.  If I didn’t have that, I’d have to worry about it.  But, because I’m in good shape and healthy, I am free to worry about trivial matters like whether the barista at Starbuck’s stiffed me on my change and why people don’t seem to realize that everyone can hear their music blaring out of their headphones on the subway and that my iPhone, which is a technological marvel, “doesn’t access the Internet fast enough damnit!”

And, most of all, I’m grateful that I get to write this and someone out there reads it.

Thank you to that person.  I realize you may be reading this while sitting on the toilet, but I thank you for giving me your undivided attention during one of the most precious moments of your day.