My wife is a Black woman.  She is also a fashion designer.  I am a White man.  I have virtually no fashion sense.

 

Part of the challenge of any marriage is communication, translating female-speak to male-speak and vice-versa so that the spouses understand one another.

 

In our case, there is a heightened challenge.  As someone born Jewish, I frequently use Yiddish terms with which my wife (who converted to Judaism) is not familiar.  By the same token, she will sometimes use phrases that are more commonplace in African-American circles with which I am not familiar.

 

One  area in which we definitely needed linguistic help was in the area of fashion and dress.  As a fashion designer, my wife has, at times, times expressed dismay at my fashion choices.  But, because we come from different backgrounds, sometimes it has been difficult to communicate our positions to one another.

 

Over time, we (meaning I) have learned.  But, for those of you  who may be in similar circumstances to us, I present now for you, the TOP 10 FASHION EDICTS FROM MY WIFE TO ME (with translation):

 

1. Statement: Get your gear straight – Translation: You need to dress better

 

2. Statement: You are to’ up from the flo’ up – Translation: You need to dress better

 

3. Statement: That sh*t is whack – Translation: You need to dress better

 

4. Statement: You are a hot mess – Translation: You need to dress better

 

5. Statement: No! – Translation: You need to dress better

 

6. Statement:You have got to be sh*ttin’ me – Translation: You need to dress better

 

7. Statement: That is so not bangin’ – Translation: You need to dress better

 

8. Statement: Did you get that swag off a homeless guy? – Translation: You need to dress better

 

9.  Statement: The fashion police are issuing you a ticket – Translation: You need to dress better

 

10. Statement: Must be nice to be White – Translation: You need to dress better (and it’s only because of the inherent inequality of the racial dynamics and power structure of this country that you can get away with looking like a khaki-wearing middle manager and not lose self-respect and the respect of the community at large).

 

So there it is.  I hope this list helps those of you who may be in interracial relationships.  I know it’s helped us.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go change into a different pair of khaki pants 🙂