As a dad, I worry often about teaching our 3 year old son how to be a good person, a better person, frankly, than I am.  It’s not always easy to know what to say or what lessons to impart.  Certain rules or lessons are easy, like don’t throw sand in people’s faces.  Others are not so easy, such as whether or not it’s okay to not always tell the absolute, unvarnished truth to people (sometimes diplomacy is called for).

In those moments, when I’m not sure what to say, I will frequently plumb the depths of my brain for lessons that my own father, our son’s grandfather imparted to me.  Some were obvious, some were elegant, some were silly, and some were profound.  But, here are 10 that I remember well:

1. Don’t quit.  If you quit once, you’ll set the table to quit again.  So, if you fail in your quest, that’s fine.  Failure happens.  But, don’t fail because you failed to make the effort.

2. Think about the other guy.  Everybody has a story.  Everybody has pain.  Everybody is struggling through life.  Just because the other guy is being obstinate or difficult doesn’t mean it’s because he hates you.  He may just have a worse life than yours.  Remember that.

3. Figure out how things work.  If you can figure out how things work, you can work on making them work better.  If you have no idea how something operates, how on Earth can you improve on it?

4. Look people in the eye.  It’s about dignity and respect.  For yourself and for others.  Looking people in the eye isn’t easy.  But, if you do it, people will respect you. They may not always like you, but they will respect you.

5. Have fun.  It’s a cliche, but life is too damn short.  If you’re not having run right this second, you need to fix that.

6. This too shall pass.  Life is often difficult, challenging, and even unpleasant.  But, remember nothing stays the same.  Nothing.  Life is about change and evolution.  Even as you sit there, motionless, mouth open, staring at the tv, things are happening.  So remember, even the worst moments don’t last forever (though they sometimes feel as if they do).

7. Life is unfair.  That’s a tough pill to swallow.  And, yes, it does suck big time that there are billionaires, and you’re not one of them.  But, hey, you live in America in the 21st Century, and some people will never, ever, ever have the privilege of doing that.  They lived in the Dark Ages, or they live in the Third World, where finding drinkable water is a major daily activity.

8. If a frog had wings, it wouldn’t bump its ass on the water when it jumps.  In other words, you can’t live in a world that you dream up, you have to live in the world as it is.  That doesn’t mean you can’t work to change it, but you can’t walk around thinking about how much better life would be if you were taller or better-looking or had wings or any one of a million other things that are never going to happen. Use what you got and make the most of them.

9.  What’s that pitcher going to throw next? My dad (and I) are huge baseball fans. And, growing up, when we’d watch baseball, he’d always ask me “what’s the pitcher going to throw next?”  Basically, this is a metaphor for making sure to live an examined life.  Think about what’s happening around you?  Try to understand it.  Try to see the cause and effect.  It makes for a richer, more engaged experience.

10. Too much ice cream gives me gas.  Well, this one is self-evident.  Gluttony is to be avoided.  As is excessive lactose.