As an interracial couple, my wife and I from time to time face questions and, sometimes, pointed comments about our relationship. Because it’s Black History Month — a month that is about commemoration and learning — I thought I’d take a brief moment to provide some inside information/clarification/myth-busting about interracial relationships.
1. I don’t have liberal White guilt. I’m Jewish. I just have guilt.
2. I don’t watch Oprah’s Master Class because I want my wife to think I like “Black” stuff. I watch Oprah’s Master Class because it’s awesome, because Oprah is great about paying it forward with substance, and because when a self-made billionaire offers their thoughts on life and how to succeed, you might as well listen.
3. Probably the most fun thing about being in an interracial relationship is thinking about who would play you in the movie version of your lives. This is especially true because Hollywood, still today, will rarely ever do a rom-com that stars two actors of different races. I mean, c’mon, can you see MGM doing a movie where Ben Stiller is married to Taraji Henson?
4. Singing Jungle Fever isn’t really all that funny anymore. I’m not offended, it’s just that if you want to poke fun at us, maybe you should use a reference from this century.
5. Oh, and by the way, we don’t have Jungle Fever. We’re married, and we have a 6 month old son. The only fever going on here is the kind that causes visits to the pediatrician to treat diarrhea and projectile vomiting.
6. By the same token, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but we don’t have any crazy stories about how our families went nuts when we got married or threatened to kill us for marrying outside our races. Frankly, our parents were just so relieved that they were one step closer to being grandparents that I think they couldn’t have cared less if we were purple and green with polka dots.
7. It’s amazing to me that that were ever separate bathrooms for people based on race. Having said that, I do think separate bathrooms for spouses is an awesome idea, and I can’t wait till we can afford that. Mine will have a steam room and a selection of reading material that will rival the Library of Congress.
8. When I give my buddies the handshake with the lean-in hug, it’s not because I’m trying to act “Black.” It’s just that giving a regular handshake these days has become awkward and makes people think you’re too aloof to lean in for the half-hug.
9. Personally, I think calling people “brother” or “sister” is cool. I don’t do it because I think people would think I was doing so as an affectation. But, honestly, I think if we all started calling each other brother and sister, maybe we’d think of each other that way, and then maybe, just maybe, we might all love more, hate less and get along better.
10. My biggest hope — that within my son’s lifetime, none of my comedy material about race will be funny or make sense to him because racism will such a distant memory he won’t know what the hell I was talking about.
8 Comments on “Black History Month: MythBusting About Interracial Relationships”
I love this! My partner and I are of similar ilk, but he’s a southern-minded hillbilly and I’m a boho earthy type. We’re not married, but we do have a 24 year-old daughter together as the result of a one-night stand when we were kids. We’ve been together five years now. Would love if you could come do a show in Grand Rapids, Mich.!
So great hearing from you! Thanks for sharing your story! I wish you guys all the best! And, I’d love to come out to Grand Rapids. If you know of anyone looking to have comedy as entertainment out there, please have them contact me.
Loved this piece! I am also in a interracial relationship…my boyfriend is Portuguese and I am Black American/African. I don’t know if that makes much sense but I am born in America with parents that are both immigrants of West Africa. I often times get comments from friends saying ‘you have jungle fever’ or ‘how is it on the white side?’ but i never get offended. A lot of these friends wish they could venture into dating outside of their race but are too scared to do so. It’s never been about skin color or ethnicity to me, it’s about the person inside.
And my Portuguese ‘white man’ is the best man ever =)
So i totally understand your point of view on the issue…people are so wrapped up in color these days that they restrict themselves the opportunity to meet a lot of amazing people. You and your wife are proof of that. And baby ivan is adorable!! =)
Thanks so much for writing in and sharing your personal story. So glad you’re happy! All the best!
I hope #10 comes true. For your son and my two young bi-racial children.
Again, very funny anecdotes. Glad I found your site. Your family is beautiful.
Thanks so very much!
I am black American. My wife is Greek-Australian. For the life of me, she cannot understand why we are called “black” American when the rest of the planet calls us Americans. We’ve had our share of awkward looks in public, but like you I do not care. I am just unbelievably elated that I have found the most beautiful woman in the universe and that she loves me as much as she does. I speak in proper reference of the Queen’s english. This shows that I try to carry myself as an educated man, not trying to “act white” as some would put it. My wife likes R&B, not because she’s married to a black man but because she enjoys a good passionate love song. I myself prefer the Boom Boom Satellites! LOL! You make me proud that there are more people like myself who see a person as a person and not a chromatic designation. Thank you for your story and bless you and your family!
Vernon:
Thank you for writing in. I’m sorry I didn’t respond sooner. Thank you for sharing your story! We really appreciate your visit and hope that you will continue to come back to the website, read, and share. All the best to you and your wife.
Leave a Comment