It appears that FAO Schwarz, the iconic toy store of NYC, (think Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia playing “Chopsticks” on the big piano: https://youtu.be/0Yu62StlsMY).

Why are they closing it?

Well, first let’s define “they.” The “they” here is Toys ‘R Us, which has owned FAO Schwarz since 2009.

So, why is Geoffrey the Giraffe closing one of the great icons of NYC?  Well, let’s pretend for the moment it’s not to drive toy-buying traffic to the Toys ‘R Us flagship in Times Square.  Why else could they be doing it?

Here are some guesses:

1. Toys ‘R Us management likes to see children cry.

2. The folks at Apple (who have an Apple Store right next door to FAO Schwarz) sent Robert Duvall to the folks at FAO Schwarz with an offer they couldn’t refuse, then he left a horse’s head in their bed.

3. Wall Street banks have offered them a huge kickback because they need a place to hide all the money they made during the economic crisis that none of us is supposed to know about.

Bottom line, the FAO Schwarz store is closing, and it is a sad, sad time for all of us who grew up with that icon.