Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Multiracial Families

Written by Alex on October 22, 2014 - 33 Comments

My wife and I are an interracial couple.  She’s Black, and I am White.  Our 3 year old son is Biracial.  If you’re a frequent reader of this blog, you know this already.  If you think I mention this too much, please see this response: http://www.alexbarnettcomic.com/dont-see-color/.

For those of you who don’t read this blog often, or who are generally interested in learning more about multiracial families, I thought I’d do my part to provide you with some helpful information.

And, if you’re a rabid racist who’s looking to troll this blog, well, you know what you can go do.  But, before you do that, read my list of things you didn’t know about multiracial families so you can learn something too before you go do to yourself the unmentionable thing I alluded to above.

So, with that, here are ten things you didn’t know about multiracial families:

1. We have meetings on the 2d Thursday of every month.  We serve Black & White cookies, sing Lenny Kravitz songs, and play a game in which we see who can name 10 Biracial celebrities the quickest.  Barack Obama is the Honorary Chairperson of our organization, and he attends every meeting, at which he gives us special briefings on the State of the Union.

2. Every multiracial family owns an autographed picture of Derek Jeter giving his farewell speech at Yankee Stadium as well as an autographed copy of Mariah Carey’s first CD.

3. Multiracial families get preferred seating at Denny’s.

4. Every multiracial family has a “Bat-phone” on which they can call a network of civil rights lawyers to come bail them out of jail the next time mommy or daddy is arrested under the mistaken belief that they’ve kidnapped their own kids (who are, of course, several shades differently colored than mommy or daddy)

5. Multiracial families like to watch all the Disney films made about their experience.  You know the one about the . . . .   Well, when they make it, we’re gonna watch it.

6. Shonda Rhimes is doing a new tv show about a multiracial family.  It focuses on a beautiful Black woman from Detroit, and her devilishly handsome, neurotic Jewish husband, and . . . . oops, sorry, that’s the fantasy tv show I’ve been concocting in my head as a way to get famous and to stop having to blog so much.

7. Multiracial families get paid an annual stipend of $100,000 per family by the GAP to provide photos of their kids wearing GAP Kids clothes.

8. Every multiracial family has one Uncle that no one of any color can stand.  By the way, he never misses any of the family functions.

9. Every multiracial family also has one member who is breathtakingly racist and another member who is so liberal it makes everyone else in the family want to duct-tape them to a high-school locker.

10. Multiracial families have the best holiday meals because that’s when the mommas get together and try to prove whose culture has the best cuisine.

33 Comments on “Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Multiracial Families”

  • Namehank schwenkOctober 22, 2014 pm31 11:25 pmReply

    CommentUh ,I’m into #10,the food. Liked Derek Jeter’s commercial although not a Yankee fan. Think the Disney brand needs more scrutiny then it once did. Not an Obama fan. Bring on the food.

  • SandraOctober 23, 2014 am31 12:29 amReply

    You modern multi-racial families really have it goin’ on. When we were having kids back in the 80’s we just sort of quietly blended into both worlds…it was fun doing so, and it almost always worked. When it didn’t work, we just figured that we were the multi-racial missionaries, and it was our calling to make multi-racial marriage look normal. We took that calling seriously, with no regrets. Our 3 children are grown now, but they all agree that being from a multi-racial family has been an adventure and a blessing.

    I may have to hit one of those meetings- sounds half-fun!

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:04 pmReply

      Definitely come to the meetings! They’re fun 🙂

  • AlyssaOctober 23, 2014 am31 1:26 amReply

    I loved this! Mostly because many of them are true! I even have a brother-in-law who’s been beaten up by everyone, because he always gets sauced and says the wrong things! He’s not racist, just stupid!
    Cheers mate!

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:04 pmReply

      Thanks for sharing the story!

  • CarmenOctober 23, 2014 am31 2:26 amReply

    LOL!!!!!
    And to each other, your just “hue toned” because you don’t see color….lol!

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:04 pmReply

      Thanks for writing in! So true!

  • ToniOctober 23, 2014 am31 7:51 amReply

    So funny! Thanks for sharing!

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:09 pmReply

      Thank you!

  • Audrey CookOctober 23, 2014 am31 7:51 amReply

    I am here to tell you that every item is correct and factual. ROFL! Keep up the good work! <3

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:09 pmReply

      Will do! So glad you like it!

  • VeneshiaOctober 23, 2014 am31 8:16 amReply

    That’s hilarious! Especially numbers 4 and 10. I can definitely relate to those.

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:09 pmReply

      🙂 Nice!

  • Penny ThomasOctober 23, 2014 am31 8:49 amReply

    Alex,
    I was part of an interracial marriage for 41 years. I am white and I got married in Detroit in1970. My husband was black. I had one child at time of my marriage who was white. My husband adopted her. We then had a child together. Back in the day, we were an exceedingly unusual family and caused quite a stir wherever we went. It is much better now, I do believe, although there are still many challenges.

    My husband died three years ago, and I am now dating a white man. That caused lots of interest across the board. My black nieces were truly shocked. My daughter said, “Mom, how could you? He wears pink shirts!”

    Race is so laden with meaning that should not exist.

    I enjoy reading about your family and wish you the very best.

    Sincerely,

    Penny Thomas

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:10 pmReply

      Thanks for sharing your story with us! All the best to you and yours!

  • Stephanie kingOctober 23, 2014 am31 9:49 amReply

    This is awesome! I come from a multiracial family and I love all of them. Even the ones that need to be taped to the high school locker. Lol keep this blog going, it’s great!

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:10 pmReply

      Thank you so much! Glad you like it!

  • MarkOctober 23, 2014 pm31 12:15 pmReply

    I love it and I will be at the next meeting. Haters will always hate and ignorance has no color. Love my biracial family. We are very blended.

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:11 pmReply

      We’ll be looking for you at the next meeting!! 🙂

  • Jessica WestbergOctober 23, 2014 pm31 6:15 pmReply

    YES!!! SO brilliant!!! Love love love this!

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:11 pmReply

      So, glad you like it! Thanks for writing!

  • Tanika ShawOctober 24, 2014 am31 7:51 amReply

    Comment
    This was great thanks. As a multiracial person I get tired of answering what my ethnicity is. I married a multiracial person and had two kids. Everything you say is true and absolutely hilarious. Why can’t folks just call us American. That’s what we are. This is the only country with sub labels.

    • AlexOctober 26, 2014 pm31 11:26 pmReply

      Glad you enjoyed the post! Thanks for writing in and for sharing your experience!

  • JimmyOctober 24, 2014 am31 10:05 amReply

    As the head of a biracial family, I would like to know how to get that stipend from The Gap.

    • AlexOctober 26, 2014 pm31 11:26 pmReply

      🙂

  • AmyeOctober 24, 2014 pm31 2:39 pmReply

    I have a biracial Son (18), but both myself and my husband are white as is my youngest Son (14). My husband has raised him as his own since he was 14 months. So we are one very blended family!

    • AlexOctober 26, 2014 pm31 11:27 pmReply

      Thanks for writing in and sharing your story!

  • Name GwendolynOctober 24, 2014 pm31 9:36 pmReply

    Comment. Your story is enjoyable to read and heart warming we need more people like you..

    • AlexOctober 26, 2014 pm31 11:27 pmReply

      Thanks so very much!

  • AndreaOctober 25, 2014 pm31 1:55 pmReply

    Dude, how could you just give away our secrets like that!?!? I’m bringing this up at the next meeting!
    😉

    • AlexOctober 26, 2014 pm31 11:28 pmReply

      🙂

  • Jackie UzohOctober 25, 2014 pm31 10:43 pmReply

    Married my husband in 1984. He’s from Nigeria. I’m from MN. Can you imagine what a ‘ruckus’ that caused. I have two beautiful children, that my brother would not acknowledge and predicted they would have nothing but trouble in life. They are now 26 and 29. Bachelors degrees and MBA degrees. Full athletic and academic scholarships. They turned out just fine. Mind you his full white daughter almost flunked out of high school and he called me for help! Ha! God is good. My kids love having two cultures! I would have loved a blog like this when I was raising my kids though. Nice support! Keep it going!

    • AlexOctober 26, 2014 pm31 11:28 pmReply

      Thanks for writing in and sharing your story! And, thanks for the support!

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