What I’ve learned about being a dad in the last week:

1. Being a dad means I now have permission to wear hideously ugly hats under the guise of “preparing for the cold weather outside.” #followinginmydadsfootsteps

2. Being a dad means that during NFL Playoff season, I’m desperately looking for a contraption that would let me work out without creating a racket, while watching a tv on mute, but creating enough white noise to rock someone to sleep for his nap. I wish the “Professor” from Gilligan’s Island was still with us. #RIPRussellJohnson

3. Being a dad means sometimes the most challenging thing you will do all day is put on someone else’s socks and shoes.

4. Being a dad means that when your child causes you to lose your cool, he may forget but you never will.

5. Being a dad means realizing that every word you say to distract your child from doing something they shouldn’t be doing is then a word that will be repeated back to you over and over and over and over and over and over again till you just want them to go back to whatever it was that was annoying you in the first place.

6. Being a dad means my gears are: tired, wiped, exhausted, asleep on my feet, and fifth gear (aka catatonic)

7. Being a dad means that when the Grammy’s are on during nap-time, that’s when I’ll watch.