What I’ve learned about being a dad in the last week:

1. Being a dad means I’m so tired that when I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, I see Abe Vigoda. #DetectiveFish #Tessio

2. Being a dad means I have an Elmo in my gym bag.

3. Being a dad means I get to do “research” on the web for child-friendly cartoons. My latest research consists of a marathon of Klondike Kat and his nemesis Savoir Faire

4. Being a dad (of a 2 year old) means that not only did I not watch the Golden Globes, it means I don’t even know what films were nominated or even out this year. #netflixparent #appletv #ondemandlifestyle

5. Being a dad means I got to listen to him cry “Mommy” for an hour, and the only thing that got him to go to sleep was Mommy actually showing up. #theforgottenman #feelinginadequate #dadtimeisdaytime

6. Being a dad means dinner consists of grazing on toddler leftovers. #lovegoldfish #toastcrusts

7. Being a dad means reverse psychology is your psychology. #noyoucannotputyourshoeson