Being a parent is great.  It’s also tough stuff.  But, ultimately, it’s a journey that you go on with your child wherein you learn a lot about your child, the World and yourself.

In this last week, this is what I’ve learned:

1. Being a dad means realizing that your child has 50% of your DNA, which means that unless you do your job, there’s at least a 50% chance that your child will make exactly the same mistakes you made.

2. Being a dad means realizing that you can’t tell someone not to curse if every  other second,  you let loose with a “What the f*ck is that sh*t?”

3. Being a dad means “yeah, I take soccer and little league seriously. This could be the beginning of a free-ride college scholarship. You want to give out participation awards? Why don’t you show that ribbon to the financial aid office when your kid’s 18 and see what they say.”

4. Being a dad means everyday I think, “how did my parents do this?  Were they counterfeiters?  Money launderers?  Is that why I wasn’t allowed in my dad’s den?”

5. Being a dad means that the “level playing field” of the free market is really more like one of those wobble-boards at the gym.

6.  Being a dad means that at least once a day you will see a person who reminds you of you at that age, and you think “dude, you don’t have any idea what’s coming. And, if you did you’d be so afraid you’d go into shock.”

7. Being a dad means everyone else in the family gets to be scared and tell me about it. Me? I have to pretend that I’m watching tv all night because I got caught up in a movie, not because I know that the only thing keeping the Boogeyman in the closet is the light being emitted by the television.